HARD BREATH V.2
6 in. red 3-ring research binder: original documentation & Unique Polaroids
At the height of the AIDS epidemic experimental drug treatments lead to the invention of modern antiretroviral medications that keep the HIV virus suppressed, but these drugs would never be available were it not for individuals willing to receive them on an experimental basis. In January of 2019 I enrolled as a volunteer in a year-long experimental drug study aimed at treating and suppressing the HIV virus in a way not yet attempted by medical researchers using broadly neutralizing antibodies. During the study I received multiple daylong infusions of two new experimental HIV drugs over several months. To create a record of this process I asked nurses and visitors to take pictures of me with a Polaroid camera since I was not capable of making a self-portrait on my own. Between infusions and blood draws I captured my surroundings: hallways, clocks, vials of blood, and the people who helped and supported me. The original Polaroid photographs are kept in a research binder along with thorough original documentation including blood work indicating the detectability of HIV in my body.
Participating in this study and the construction of this photographic record is about making a contribution to the future of HIV treatment – to make it easier for others and perhaps unnecessary one day. I believe I would not be alive if there weren’t similarly-minded people to develop and test the antiretroviral drugs keeping me alive today, and I wish there was more of a record of those who give the gift of their bodies and their stories to medical research so that others may hold onto theirs. These photographs are, for me, a small push forward in that direction.
